Ripping Wings Off of Butterflies
by Seph Meadowes
Summary: There are hook-ups, break-ups, breakdowns and far too many ups and downs in this society to keep up with. There are too many complications and expectations and unrequited affections. Nate/Jenny. Complete.


_She lives in a fairy tale_  
_ Somewhere too far for us to find_  
_ Forgotten the taste and smell_  
_ Of the world that she's left behind_  
_ It's all about the exposure the lens I told her_  
_ The angles were all wrong now_  
_ She's ripping wings off of butterflies_

** - Paramore, Brick by Boring Brick**

* * *

Junior year and senior year passes by like a blur. Drama, scandal and wrong decisions plague her last few years in Constance and she wants to forget, wants to forget all the lies, baggage and cruel games. She's become trapped in a world she no longer desires to be in, finds herself in love triangles and competitions for power and basically being a pawn to everyone else.

There are hook-ups, break-ups, breakdowns and far too many ups and downs in this society to keep up with. There are too many complications and expectations and unrequited affections.

_("If you wanna be part of this world, Jenny, you have to decide…if all this…is worth it.")_

Her mother decides to move to California just as summer ends. And Jenny tags along, more than happy to escape the cruelties and lies hidden beneath the glitz and glamour.

She'll let someone else handle this insane kingdom.

* * *

They move to a quaint house in Beverly Hills and Jenny likes the contrast between this world and her old one. There are more spray tans, surgeries and everyone looks like movie stars but she doesn't really care.

She does care about the weather. And she turns up the thermostat as she decorates her new room.

Her mother spends the summer painting and her work is displayed in a small art gallery nearby.

Jenny walks down sidewalks in the summer sun, staring at the clothing in the stores and eats ice cream from _Ben and Jerry's_. She keeps in touch with Eric who tells her about his new boyfriend and some of the drama going on back in New York.

_("Ooh, careful, E, are you becoming a stalker again?")_

She blocks him out when it's the latter and colors away on her sketchpad, imagining the dresses to be the ones behind the display windows.

* * *

Summer ends and she applies for USC, she gets in and makes a promise to her mom to visit every free weekend she can get. She ends up sharing her dorm room with a girl named Erin Silver who prefers to be called just 'Silver'.

_("Who are you? Courtney Love?" The girl's first remark to her.)_

She's tall, has dark hair, cerulean blue eyes and could compete with Dan when it came to sarcasm. She reminds Jenny of Dan and Vanessa and they get along just fine. They share stories and learn that their worlds aren't that different after all. Jenny both likes and dislikes this.

And after reading Silver's blog, concludes that she might as well be Gossip Girl.

* * *

Classes are…well, classes but Jenny does just fine. Sometimes, she studies with Silver at a café nearby the university. And on weekends, they crash parties, watch horror movies and hang around her mother's art gallery, giggling and watching cute boys pass by from the large glass windows.

One lazy, Sunday afternoon, they run into one of Silver's friends, Naomi Clark who is Blair and Serena merged into one. Jenny feels the same intimidation she felt when she was a freshman in high school and just meeting the queens of Constance.

But Naomi has the same blonde hair as Serena and the same wit as Blair and Jenny can't hate her…

_("Nice to meet you," Naomi greets her in a very Waldorf-like way, her blonde hair gleaming in the sun like a halo.)_

...well, not too much anyway.

* * *

It's the middle of the semester when she gets a call from Nate Archibald. Jenny has long cancelled her subscription to Gossip Girl and is surprised when he informs her of his break-up with Serena.

She doesn't say anything to comfort him. She doesn't even acknowledge it and they spend hours on the phone, talking about absolutely nothing. She feels comfortable and giddy and is all smiles by the time they say their goodbyes.

Silver walks into the room a moment later, eyeing her chipper state with a raised eyebrow and an accusatory stare with her cerulean eyes.

_("Let me guess, it was a boy.")_

Jenny fervently denies everything.

* * *

Months pass by and she and Silver still party and pig out on ice cream and Jenny's content in the simplicity of her life where the only thing she worries about are her grades and keeping Silver from doing anything too crazy.

_("Silver, don't!")_

She loves the girl, she does. But she admits that the girl had a screw or two lose.

Silver later introduces her to her sister-in-law, Donna Silver and the quirky blonde takes a few glances at her sketchpad before hiring her as an intern.

Jenny couldn't be happier.

* * *

Jenny enters their room after class one day to find Silver crying on the bed, sobbing loudly into the comforter. Jenny quickly tosses her bag on her bed and climbs up Silver's, snuggling beside the girl and hugging her while rubbing soothing circles on back.

_("Let me guess, it was a boy." She whispers into the girl's ear.)_

Two days later, a boy named Ethan Ward arrives at their doorstep and she leaves the room quietly as he starts to pour his heart out to her roommate.

* * *

Time flies by quickly in between hanging out with Silver and Ethan (who transferred in at the start of the second semester), interning for Donna (who was lovely and her best critic), helping out her mom at the gallery (who was dating a curator, Jenny just knew was going to be her new stepdad) and keeping in touch with Eric, her dad, Dan, and Nate, and before she knows it, it's nearing Christmas.

Nate, after their little chitchat post-break up with Serena, has not stopped calling her these past few months. They talk in their free time about anything under the sun from the latest Bond movie to the apocalypse. It's nice to be friends with Nate without the sexual tension and cheating on his girlfriends with her (unintentionally or not), they are just friends, talking, texting and e-mailing each other about their days.

_("Can't stand a day without hearing my voice, can you, Archibald?")_

It's nice to talk to someone since she's started to feel like a third wheel with Silver and Ethan, the latter whom reminds her quite a bit of Nate with their sweet smiles and boyish charms. They've both coincidentally been lacrosse captains in high school as well.

It's just nice to have someone there and Nate was always ready to lend an ear, always.

* * *

Christmas comes and Silver spends it with Ethan in Montana, promising to call and text her every day. Jenny comes home to spend it with her mom and her fiancé, Michael. The three decorate the house with cheesy Christmas decorations as Jenny and her mom wish desperately for snow.

Of course, this was Beverly Hills and snow never comes. But that doesn't deter them and they celebrate Christmas with eggnog, cookies and watching _Home Alone 1_ and _2_ on DVD.

The next morning, Jenny comes down to breakfast and her mom hands her a box from the mail. It's wrapped in shiny red gift wrapper and Jenny blinks at the card in surprise.

She calls the giver a second later, laughingly thanking him.

_("You're welcome." He replies easily.)_

And she can practically hear the smile in Nate's voice.

* * *

She spends the rest of her vacation uneventfully and complains to Silver who's happily doing God knows what with Ethan in Montana. The brunette tells her to go and call Nate and confess her growing feels for him, in which Jenny asks her if she's taken anything recently.

She can_ hear_ the eye-roll.

_("Sure, whatever. Let yourself live in delusion city, I hear it's quite nice there.") _

She gets annoyed and hangs up, getting a call from Nate not a second later.

In between listening to Nate make fun of her brother in an incident involving a vaccum cleaner, Eric and super glue, she realizes that talking to Nate has become the best part of her days and she wonders if Silver may be on to something.

That night, lying in her bed and staring at the ceiling, she concludes that she loves Nate Archibald.

* * *

The day before New Year's Eve he asks her why she decided to leave New York, why she left her life behind and he didn't say it but she knew, why she left him behind.

The answer was simple.

_("I just wanted to be Jenny.")_

Not Little J, not Queen J, just Jenny Humphrey.

No one knew her in Beverly Hills, she could start out new and being anonymous was the best feeling in the world after all the madness she went through in high school.

* * *

On New Year's Eve, Nate arrives at her house unexpectedly. Surprised but happy, she asks him why he was there.

He just shrugs, smiling and his blue eyes sparkling and it makes her heart beat just a little bit faster.

_("I just want to be Nate.") _

And she smiles, understanding all too well.

* * *

He tells her he loves her in between kisses at midnight and she laughs, replying that she loves him back.

And when she tells Silver, the brunette has only one thing to say.

_("I told you so.") _

_

* * *

_

**Yeah, I know, it sucks. But don't be too to those who aren't aware, I just crossed this over with the show 90210. Silver, Ethan, Naomi, Donna - they're all from there.  
**


End file.
